how to give yourself empathy

This is part of a 7-day series on giving yourself empathy.
Here’s part 1 and part 2. You can also follow along with free updates.

2. Feeling your feelings

This can be a tricky one, but, (in my experience) it’s the most important.

When the hurt, the sadness, the anger starts to come on, instead of pushing it away, I do my best (and that’s always the key: doing my best, but not expecting perfection, not expecting anything) to stay with it.

To really sink into my feelings, and instead of avoiding the pain, to plunge in.

This actually results in an effect opposite from wallowing. Here, instead of complaining about the situation, I simply allow myself to feel all of it. The good, the bad, the sticky. It’s often a cool pain that actually brings a kind of relief, since I’m not pushing it away.

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Oftentimes I’ve noticed that what I’m scared of is not the situation itself, but feeling my feelings about it. The problem is often that I feel too scared to feel my true feelings.

But I usually find that once I actually allow myself to sink deep into the feelings, that’s when I can actually process them, learn from the experience, and most importantly, let it all go.

Stay tuned for part 4 of this series tomorrow!

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