25 ways losing weight will not change your life

This is a list of what losing weight MIGHT do for you.


  1. result in a different number (that changes every moment anyway) displayed on an external machine that still does not define your intelligence, personality, kindness, attractiveness, sense of humor, or substance

This is a list of what losing weight will NOT do for you.


  1. change your life
  2. make you look beautiful on your special day if you’re hungry and deprived
  3. solve your problems
  4. destroy your insecurities
  5. mean you will fit in
  6. change who you are
  7. fix your relationships, friendships, family or marriage
  8. grant you popularity
  9. give you good luck
  10. make you smarter, nicer, richer, more good-looking, or even more athletic
  11. find you a life partner
  12. make people like you more or think better of you
  13. give you a 6-pack or chiseled muscles
  14. result in a better sex life
  15. cure any illnesses
  16. make you feel better about anything
  17. change how you feel about yourself or your body
  18. mean that you will get you the respect you deserve
  19. result in better health
  20. make someone else love you
  21. give you superpowers
  22. make you satisfied with your life
  23. give you unconditional happiness
  24. grant you 3 wishes from a magical genie
  25. make you love yourself
  I forgive you

Losing weight will never accomplish any of these things for you independently. Taking better care of yourself, respecting yourself, eating what your body needs, and moving your body can help. But a different weight is just a different number. And a change in a number on a machine or a shirt tag will not change anything about your life. It will just be a different number on the same machine, the same person in the same body.

You will stay the same person with the same attitude, thoughts, self-respect (or lack thereof), and body image… until you change how you feel about your body FIRST and realize it deserves respect & the best loving-kindness and care.

Losing weight is not & will NEVER be a panacea.

“But, O bumbling writer of cynosure, my wife/partner/doctor/mother/brother/friend/stranger told me I need to lose weight if I want to look good & be fit!”

I am all for people being happy & healthy. (That’s one of cynosure‘s missions, after all.) And that includes eating less processed food, getting fit, becoming your own brand of athlete, and feeling good about the way you look! But I do not believe you ever have to weigh yourself, scrutinize your size, overexercise/force yourself to become a gym rat, or deprive yourself & diet (especially not diet) to do so. You never have to depend on a number that changes by the hour to gauge your self-worth.

  why “you lost weight” is NOT a compliment

Don’t focus on the numbers instead of the health. You can be “medically overweight” and run a marathon, or you can be “medically underweight” and not even make it up a flight of stairs. Don’t think it’s about the weight; it’s not about the weight. It’s never about the weight. People forget that we only tend to look better when we respect & take care of ourselves FIRST, before we think about trying to change our bodies– and most of the time, those changes are a result of loving ourselves. Not the other way around.

You can take walks and listen to your body and eat mindfully when you are truly hungryand kick around a soccer ball with a friend and order dessert and stretch and do yoga and try a new & unfamiliar species of vegetable and make love and unpeel an orange with your hands and bike to work and drink tea and take the stairs and enjoy ice cream and go hiking and eat popcorn while watching movies and drink water and sleep well and do push-ups and bake a cake and dance with your loves and share a piping-hot mug of Mexican mocha, & that can fulfill you, & that can nourish you, & that can even help you learn to respect yourself more, & that can even result in a little more self-love…

  how to hang in there when things get tough

and you won’t ever have to peek at a scale.

“People who lose weight have regrets.
They should have done it sooner.
They always had the knowledge…..It is not that simple. It is not that easy.
But I do have one regret.
Not respecting the 400 pound person.
The same person I am now.

Love yourself, no matter the weight. No matter your size.
Once you lose the weight, you will be the same person.

It took me too long to realize that.”


Tony at The Anti-Jared (emphasis mine)

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